Taking Steps

"If we wait for the moment when everything, absolutely everything is ready, we shall never begin." - Ivan Turgenev

So I've decided to take some initiative to figuring out which direction I want to go. I need to stop only dreaming and procrastinating and actually try something! If I'm not willing to try something I'm basically giving up before i start. (Although with last year's deciding not to go for social work - i still feel i made the right decision). Here's the jyst! I've registered for a photography course starting next month to see if maybe I want to pursue my hobby a little more seriously. I'm nervous and excited at the same time, can't wait to learn more! I've also been interested in possibly going into elementry teaching, i used to always want to be a teacher as a kid, but when i got older the four years of schooling scared me!! So to see if this is really something i may be interested, I've been looking into volunteering in a classroom at an elementry school once a week, hopefully helping kids read and assisting the teacher, ect. I hope it works out and that I can get the "classroom feel" and see if it may be something i see myself doing. I love kids and I want to be able to help them, but I think Social Work may have been a little too intense for me, this may be something more along my lines, or even becoming a teacher assist if i dont feel i want to lead a whole class. I really dont know! But thats why I'm diggin into things a little deeper to see where i fit :) Just thought I'd give you an update on that!

Like quoted at the top of my page, why should i just wait around until things "happen", i need to make things happen! So thats what I'm doin :)

Catchin' up

I can hardly believe its almost Christmas already, time just seems to go faster and faster as we get older! Sometimes I need to remind myself to enjoy the moments instead of focusing too much on the future.

The last couple months have had both their ups and downs. I'll pull through the tough times and soak in the joyous times! I'm happy to be working full-time now, will be nice to be a little more "caught up" in things financially. It can get very frustrating sometimes.

Nothing much is too new I guess, I'm still doing a lot of searching and exploring in different career paths.. I have somewhat of an idea of what I might move towards but I'm not gonna say too much yet, just take it slow and be sure of what I'm doing this time!

I'm so blessed to have someone special in my life, he's wonderful! I'm a happy girl :)

Thats about all for now!
xo

My Life's Carousel

I try so hard not to let stress over-come me, but there are definitely days the bottle-cap bursts. It feels like I've been sitting on carousel for months. Just when it seems I "might" be getting somewhere, back around i go, and the cycle continues. It's been a tough year, not only for me, but for many of us! I'm sure a lot of you can relate to my carousel. It's like I can't get ahead or even just back to where i used to be.

Here's the jist. The job I started last month is good, i like it - only problem is my hours recently got cut. I'm on the hunt again!! Job searching in Grande Prairie is NOT like it was 3 years ago when i moved here! It's tough forsure since I'm not the only one handing out resumes, I'm sure these employers actually looking for employees get tons of resumes in one day. I'm still not sure where I'm heading career-wise, but in the meantime I am trying to figure that out. I think the whole stressful part of this situation is not knowing this and having to be a little less independent.. I like knowing i can take of myself without anyone's help, but its been a tough year and I haven't always been able to do things by myself. Thats hard, definitely cuts the pride down!! (this is where i feel like im just going in circles on a carousel).

But on a positive note, how true is it that God ALWAYS provides, he has continued to take care of me to my last penny. I've definitely been challeneged to trust God, and its not easy. We all like to take care of ourselves.. "do it ourselves". Maybe its good that God is showing some of us that we need him more than we think. In the past few years, we've rarely had to depend on God, but some of us have definitely come to the point of learning to depend on Him. And thats where we need to be encouraged (not stressed!), he IS taking care of us :)

My life now

Well things have changed. I was able to have a long talk with an instructor/councellor a week and half ago about my career decisions, it was great to talk to somebody and really weigh out all my options and feelings. Long story short, I have decided not to go into the field of Social Work and I am truly happy about my decision. I really wasn't feeling like I wanted to take that on as a "career". I love to help people and be an encouragment in people's lives, but I'm not ready at this point (or ever really) to take on intense situations that Social Workers deal with on a day to day basis. To be honest I feel I was really blinded (more or less not really researching enough) to what Social Workers actually delt with continually. I know I want to continue to help people, but as for career-wise, I've just taken a step back to explore other routes and really discover myself and what I want before fully imersing myself into something so quickly. I'm back in GP and just started a job at Benjamin Moore which I am actually really excited about :) I take this all in as a learning experience as I definitely know it was!! It's made me challenge myself more and really think seriously about my decisions. I feel I've learnt more about myself and have been able to set some small goals to work towards in the time being. Thanks for praying for me. Until Next time!

*Remember to smile, it always looks better on you* :)
(words from someone special)

Mixed Emotions..

I haven't had this tough of a time with my life decisions in a long time.. maybe ever. I feel confused, scared, and so unsure.. I've hit a pretty big fork in the road this past week. So many things going through my head right now. I really don't know if this is where i want to be anymore, if this is the path i want to take at this point in my life. To be completely honest i don't want to be here at all, this should be a happy time shouldn't it? Why do I hate it so much? I don't even know if i really want to be a social worker anymore. I know I like to help people, but I'm not so sure if its what I want to do as a life career. I hate making decisions like this when i know its completely my choice. Cuz my choice right now would to NOT be here, but i did choose to be here.. I feel sad and sick to my stomach.

The time is coming closer..

I can't believe its almost moving time! Only 3 weeks from now and my whole life is going to change again.. I'm sure it's going to take a bit of adjusting, but I've been able to adjust to many things, so I'm pretty sure I'll do okay out there :) I can hardly believe I'm going to be a college student after all these years out of high school. Never thought I'd actually go back to school to be honest.. but I am really looking forward to learning again and gaining knowledge that I can put into practice in the lives of others. I have a strong desire to help others - specifically children and youth.. this is where God has placed my passion. I know it's a gift he's given me and I'm thankful for it. I look forward to being able to use it with more knowledge and confidence behind me. This is the way I look at it: "One person can make a world of a difference in someone's life. If I can make a difference in just one person's life I know I've done well." This is my goal, to help people and guide them in difficult circumstances.. I want to serve others and so I am serving the Lord. I'm nervous, scared, worried, and excited for this new thing in my life all at the same time. Mixed emotions forsure. But this is where I am to be, and I know it in my heart - everything will work out in His plan. I'm not sure exactly how God is going to use me with this schooling, but he will show me in time :) Thanks to all of you who support me and pray for me.

Much Love, Michelle

Making it through

Well, God always seems to take care of me right when I'm pretty much down to my last string (or "penny" in this case)! I'm working now and thanks to God I've been able to make my payments this month. Things have been looking a little more on the brighter side this week :) I got my student loan and for that I am super pumped! Although including all my living expenses on top of school I may be a touch short, thats okay, I'll figure things out as they come one day at a time! The sad part is I did not get the northern bursary i was counting on.. but thats okay, things will still work out okay for me, I'm not going to worry about it. I am pursuing what I think is right for me and I know things will work out as they are supposed to. Thanks for your prayers, they've definitely been answered :)