MIS days

Well we are going on 3 weeks now - time is actually starting to go by pretty fast! We got some good relaxing in this past weekend with Wilma & Sylvia as well as with the Peters family.

This week so far I have been in the preschool in the mornings and in the afternoons I am sorting through a bunch of clothing donations in the storage room (the old pig room). Its interesting going through everything. There are boxes and bags and whatnot - the stuff will go from being brand new to being completely ratty and torn which is useless, in this case it goes to the dump. Some of it is dirty and stained as well and im sure hasnt been washed so it gets a little smelly sometimes and can get to the head after a while. It will be nice once I can get everything done and sorted so that it doesnt get moldy sitting there for months. That room really needs a good cleaning as well which I will hopefully get to eventually. It's funny, because as soon as some of the Junior kids are out of school they come running to the door and watch me take out every article of clothing and babble like crazy in Sesotho. Its so funny. They always say things like "abuti" (boy) or "aosie" (girl) or "ME!" when they want it. Oh but its all good fun.

Although I have only been here for a short while, I can definitely feel God stretching me in a few different areas. For example, I'm one who gets grossed out pretty easily by smells, ect. The orphanage doesn't exactly smell like heaven and the baby room can get pretty nasty sometimes. I don't have big problems with loving the kids anyways, but in all honesty - there are times when they are full of open sores filled with flies, food all over, poop and pee pretty much anywhere possible.. these times sometimes involve quite a big push from God. I really do love these kids so much, don't get me wrong - but i just want to be completely honest with you and tell you that it is not always easy.

I think God is also pushing me to put the rest of my heart into this, I don't think its completely here yet.. I am so scared that I will get attached again like last time and it will hurt so much to leave, that I tend to hold back at times to keep from feeling the full attachment. This is something i need to change.. this should never keep me from giving these children/babies my whole heart - all of my love.

So I guess i just gave you a little of my heart today, so if you think of me please pray for me that i can continue to look past some of these issues and fully love these kids with everything that I can give. That is why I am here.