Flustered

As I mentioned in my last blog entry, I have a hard time not focusing on the future and just taking things one day at a time.. yupp, still difficult! I feel so flustered right now, I almost can't even think straight for some reason. It's really a wierd feeling.. I'm in a place of "unknowns" and I'll be honest in saying I'm really not enjoying it, i really hate making big decisions. The thing is for me, being on my own and all, with no real tie-downs, I could pretty much make any decision I wanted! I hate that!! It drives me crazy being at a place where I don't know what I REALLY want to do with my life. Not to mention I'm planning on moving into a new place, but its exhausting looking for the right place and trying to find a roommate. Then it gets me thinking about contracts I would have to sign and that means "tie-downs".. it scares me.. I'm trying so hard to trust God and know that He is taking care of me and things will work out, but it's not always that easy. Sometimes I wish He would just tell me what to do in these situations... but i guess then there would be no need to trust Him..

Feeling the exhaustion..

It's been a while since I've left a new post so it's about time I write another..

Pics from Pumpkin Carving last month






So life definitely hasn't slowed down for me here! It's funny, I take the entire weekend to recoperate and get rested (if i get the chance) and it only takes one full day and I slip right back into exhaustion. I am ALWAYS tired! I know I bring it on myself working so much, so I really can't complain.. but I do what I gotta do out here!

We finished up our 4 week series with the junior youth on wednesday which went really well. Not only were we mentoring/teaching the kids.. I think we were teaching ourselves in the process. I'm trying so hard to think about things in a "30 day" persective.. it's really not so easy as we get so caught up in things always looking ahead and planning or worrying about the future, that we don't just enjoy each day God has given us. I find for myself I am often way too focused on the future, always anticipating SOMETHING! Not that anticipating is bad, but it keeps me from living out today - if you catch my drift.. I guess the challenge for myself is to focus more on each day as it comes, enjoying it to the fullest, than constantly doing or planning everything in regards to the future. A big one for me :)

I went home last weekend to see Sylvia, Wilma and Lizzy one last time before they head back to Lesotho. It was good, but I really don't like good-byes.. I will miss them so much! But they are where they are for a reason, and all this is obviously a part of God's plan for them :)

The weather has been so moody here lately! Snow, freezing rain, sun, wind - take your pic. It's really not all that fun for driving, but welcome to Northern Alberta!

Whats next for me.. in all honesty, I still have NO CLUE where to go from here.. sometimes I get a little stressed about it all, but this is (as I mentioned) where I need to start taking things one day at a time and stop worrying so much about the future. Things will happen as they should in the right timing! TODAY MICHELLE, TODAY:)

That's all for now..

30 days

We are doing a series in church and small groups called "Live like you were dying". It's only been the 1st week and it's already got me thinking a little deeper about life... Suppose I only had 30 days left to live, where would I go? What would I do with those days? Who would I spend my time with? What's imporant to me? Where do my priorities lie?? Alot to think about...

So yesterday was the 1st night doing the study in our junior youth small groups (about 8 girls in my group). It was cool to discuss this issue with them, and hear what they would do with their last 30 days. My girls are great!! They are all so lively and out-going, each with a fun-loving, unique personality :) Tonight the girls and I are doing pumpkin carving followed with some delicious pumpkin pie. Looking forward to it, should be a fun time!

Last weekend was great! Wilma, Sylvia and Lizzy were here and stayed at my place. It was nice to have the company for a little while. Lizzy came to the office with me for the day on thursday, it was pretty cute I must say. She was working hard and feeling very important! I'll post some pics :)






Anyways, for all you who read my blog, I'll leave you with a couple questions to think about. Feel free to comment! If you had 30 days left to live and you could take one last trip anywhere, where would you go and why? What one thing would you do that you've never done before? Ponder on this.. Where do YOUR priorities lie? 30 days left - what's most important??

Happy Thanksgiving

Well today is thanksgiving sunday - much to be thankful for! So much that we take forgranted.. I'm thankful for my wonderful family, I'm very blessed to have one. I'm thankful for my friends, life would be empty without them. I'm thankful for my jobs, my home, my car, my church, daily provision. I'm thankul for the freedom that we have here.

After coming back from Lesotho, I've come to see how I've taken things fogranted every day.. how lucky am I to have all of these things?? When I think about thanksgiving and all I'm thankful for, I can't help but think about the kids at MIS.. it brings tears to my eyes.. It's not fair how I can have such an abundance of blessings compared to what these kids have. They deserve so much more! And I definitely don't deserve all of the blessings that God has given me. I wish I could give each one of these kids what they so deserve most, a loving family. It breaks my heart knowing some of these kids may never know what its like to have a family and be loved in such a way. I want to be able to do more for these kids..

I'm feeling a little down today, wishing I could be there giving many hugs and kisses. I miss them so much, I can't even describe how much.. Their little smiles that lit up each time we entered the room, eyes full of wonder, and their little feet running towards us, tiny hands grasping ours.. If I close my eyes long enough I almost feel like I'm there again.... But then I remember I'm worlds apart from them... Life feels pretty empty without those little guys.. so little.. yet so incredibly important in our Saviour's eyes!

Where has the time gone??

Quoting Lifehouse:

"What day is it,
and in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive"

Seriously, I can hardly wrap my head around the fact that its ALREADY October 2008!! This time last year I was booking tickets for my trip.. eeek thats a whole year gone by in a flash.. I specifically remember the day we left for Lesotho, wow what a day filled with nerves and emotions, and now it's 8 months later. I miss Lesotho...the kids.. I hope God brings me back there someday.

Friday has come and I am completely exhausted!! I could barely pull myself outa bed this morning. My body is adjusting to working both jobs now, which means minimal amounts of sleep! But in time, I'll be used to it. At least I'm enjoying it, and they extra paycheck is definitely worth it! We confirmed our small groups at Junior Youth this week, so I am pretty excited:) I love my group of gals and I can't wait to get to know each one more!

~Sala Hantle~
(stay well)

Fall has arrived..

The leaves are changing color and there's a coolness in the air.. fall is here. Although we are still having warm days with beautiful sunshine, the moment it's gone you feel the chill of the autumn season. This is my favorite season, I can't help but feel inspired by all the beauty!!

Yesterday was my 3rd week of Junior Youth. It's going well and I'm really enjoying the kids. Although I do have a pretty large small group of grade 6 girls (11 of them) by myself, so it's a little tough to get their attention and keep them on track. Pray for me that I can have an influence on these young girls and for patience as I'm sure I'll need it!

I've been doing a lot of thinking the past while as where I want to go from here... Do I want to go back to Lesotho? Do I want to do missions elsewhere? Do I want to travel? Do I want to stay in Grande Prairie? What do I really want to do? Where is my passion and what should I do with that passion? Well I know where my passion is.. it's kids! Kids need people in their lives that can influence and encourage them. They need people who see value and purpose in their lives. They need people who love them! I earnestly believe God has given me a gift with children and I want to be able to use that for His glory.. wherever I am.. whether that be here or across oceans.

As of just recently, I have enrolled into an online home-study program on "Child Psychology". I really look forward to getting started and learning more! Whether I decide to further this into a career or not, I know that it will benefit me as I work with kids now and most likely in the future.

So I think I'm going to be pretty busy this fall/winter. Two jobs, junior youth & schooling! But I'm happy with everything I have committed to and I tend to be one of those people who enjoys being busy anwyays :) I just have to make sure not to overdo it and take time to relax.. that can be a tough one for me sometimes!

Until next time...

Life back in the homeland so far

Guess it's been a little over a month now since I've returned from Lesotho. Time has gone by quite quickly, but it definitely hasn't been the easiest month. As in my last blog entry, the emotions I have experienced since being back have been crazy. It feels like a whole year of emotion was just summed up in about a month. I don't think one day has gone by that I haven't thought at least once about the kids back at MIS - oh how I miss them so much!! 6 months there.. they became my life, my family.. and it hurts to be apart from them. But all things happen for a reason and if that is where God calls me back, then I'll be there. If not, then I have to accept that too. I had a wonderful conversation this afternoon with a lady from my church whom I used to teach sunday school with. She asked me questions about my trip and challenged me to think deeply about some of the things that I experienced there. I look back and can see how God not only used me, but changed me... Listening to my own words coming out of my mouth made me realize how much I really did change and how much God worked in my heart - teaching me patience, gratitude, how to love unconditionally, maturing me.. but most of all he taught me how to trust Him in everything. In North America, we get so caught up by things in this world that we don't have time for God. Then difficult situations come along and we just can't seem to trust God, we feel like he has left us. In reality... WE are the ones that have left him. We need to learn to trust God in every aspect of our lives, whether things are going great or not so great. If we can learn to trust God in the simple realities, then we can learn to trust God in the difficult times. Anyways, God's just really shown me a lot.. about life and also about myself. I guess I was just reminded of these things today while talking to this lady. It's funny how God randomly brings these people into our lives. She was my extra dose of encouragement I needed today and she got the passion in my heart stirring! I'll admit the first while being back it's hard not to feel useless considering everything I had been doing recently in Lesotho. But I know that I am where I am for a reason. As long as I am following Christ and 'TRUSTING' Him, He will use me where he wants to use me. I've committed to serving my wednesday nights now in junior youth at our church and I'm excited to have fun and build relationships with the kids! As for a day to day life for me.. I'm back working at Trinidad - the same office I worked at prior to Africa. I'm also working a second job at the Ten Pin Bowling Alley which I worked at last fall as well. I'm enjoying my jobs and am thankful that I am blessed enough to have work. I guess thats all I got for tonight!