Taking Steps

"If we wait for the moment when everything, absolutely everything is ready, we shall never begin." - Ivan Turgenev

So I've decided to take some initiative to figuring out which direction I want to go. I need to stop only dreaming and procrastinating and actually try something! If I'm not willing to try something I'm basically giving up before i start. (Although with last year's deciding not to go for social work - i still feel i made the right decision). Here's the jyst! I've registered for a photography course starting next month to see if maybe I want to pursue my hobby a little more seriously. I'm nervous and excited at the same time, can't wait to learn more! I've also been interested in possibly going into elementry teaching, i used to always want to be a teacher as a kid, but when i got older the four years of schooling scared me!! So to see if this is really something i may be interested, I've been looking into volunteering in a classroom at an elementry school once a week, hopefully helping kids read and assisting the teacher, ect. I hope it works out and that I can get the "classroom feel" and see if it may be something i see myself doing. I love kids and I want to be able to help them, but I think Social Work may have been a little too intense for me, this may be something more along my lines, or even becoming a teacher assist if i dont feel i want to lead a whole class. I really dont know! But thats why I'm diggin into things a little deeper to see where i fit :) Just thought I'd give you an update on that!

Like quoted at the top of my page, why should i just wait around until things "happen", i need to make things happen! So thats what I'm doin :)

Catchin' up

I can hardly believe its almost Christmas already, time just seems to go faster and faster as we get older! Sometimes I need to remind myself to enjoy the moments instead of focusing too much on the future.

The last couple months have had both their ups and downs. I'll pull through the tough times and soak in the joyous times! I'm happy to be working full-time now, will be nice to be a little more "caught up" in things financially. It can get very frustrating sometimes.

Nothing much is too new I guess, I'm still doing a lot of searching and exploring in different career paths.. I have somewhat of an idea of what I might move towards but I'm not gonna say too much yet, just take it slow and be sure of what I'm doing this time!

I'm so blessed to have someone special in my life, he's wonderful! I'm a happy girl :)

Thats about all for now!
xo

My Life's Carousel

I try so hard not to let stress over-come me, but there are definitely days the bottle-cap bursts. It feels like I've been sitting on carousel for months. Just when it seems I "might" be getting somewhere, back around i go, and the cycle continues. It's been a tough year, not only for me, but for many of us! I'm sure a lot of you can relate to my carousel. It's like I can't get ahead or even just back to where i used to be.

Here's the jist. The job I started last month is good, i like it - only problem is my hours recently got cut. I'm on the hunt again!! Job searching in Grande Prairie is NOT like it was 3 years ago when i moved here! It's tough forsure since I'm not the only one handing out resumes, I'm sure these employers actually looking for employees get tons of resumes in one day. I'm still not sure where I'm heading career-wise, but in the meantime I am trying to figure that out. I think the whole stressful part of this situation is not knowing this and having to be a little less independent.. I like knowing i can take of myself without anyone's help, but its been a tough year and I haven't always been able to do things by myself. Thats hard, definitely cuts the pride down!! (this is where i feel like im just going in circles on a carousel).

But on a positive note, how true is it that God ALWAYS provides, he has continued to take care of me to my last penny. I've definitely been challeneged to trust God, and its not easy. We all like to take care of ourselves.. "do it ourselves". Maybe its good that God is showing some of us that we need him more than we think. In the past few years, we've rarely had to depend on God, but some of us have definitely come to the point of learning to depend on Him. And thats where we need to be encouraged (not stressed!), he IS taking care of us :)

My life now

Well things have changed. I was able to have a long talk with an instructor/councellor a week and half ago about my career decisions, it was great to talk to somebody and really weigh out all my options and feelings. Long story short, I have decided not to go into the field of Social Work and I am truly happy about my decision. I really wasn't feeling like I wanted to take that on as a "career". I love to help people and be an encouragment in people's lives, but I'm not ready at this point (or ever really) to take on intense situations that Social Workers deal with on a day to day basis. To be honest I feel I was really blinded (more or less not really researching enough) to what Social Workers actually delt with continually. I know I want to continue to help people, but as for career-wise, I've just taken a step back to explore other routes and really discover myself and what I want before fully imersing myself into something so quickly. I'm back in GP and just started a job at Benjamin Moore which I am actually really excited about :) I take this all in as a learning experience as I definitely know it was!! It's made me challenge myself more and really think seriously about my decisions. I feel I've learnt more about myself and have been able to set some small goals to work towards in the time being. Thanks for praying for me. Until Next time!

*Remember to smile, it always looks better on you* :)
(words from someone special)

Mixed Emotions..

I haven't had this tough of a time with my life decisions in a long time.. maybe ever. I feel confused, scared, and so unsure.. I've hit a pretty big fork in the road this past week. So many things going through my head right now. I really don't know if this is where i want to be anymore, if this is the path i want to take at this point in my life. To be completely honest i don't want to be here at all, this should be a happy time shouldn't it? Why do I hate it so much? I don't even know if i really want to be a social worker anymore. I know I like to help people, but I'm not so sure if its what I want to do as a life career. I hate making decisions like this when i know its completely my choice. Cuz my choice right now would to NOT be here, but i did choose to be here.. I feel sad and sick to my stomach.

The time is coming closer..

I can't believe its almost moving time! Only 3 weeks from now and my whole life is going to change again.. I'm sure it's going to take a bit of adjusting, but I've been able to adjust to many things, so I'm pretty sure I'll do okay out there :) I can hardly believe I'm going to be a college student after all these years out of high school. Never thought I'd actually go back to school to be honest.. but I am really looking forward to learning again and gaining knowledge that I can put into practice in the lives of others. I have a strong desire to help others - specifically children and youth.. this is where God has placed my passion. I know it's a gift he's given me and I'm thankful for it. I look forward to being able to use it with more knowledge and confidence behind me. This is the way I look at it: "One person can make a world of a difference in someone's life. If I can make a difference in just one person's life I know I've done well." This is my goal, to help people and guide them in difficult circumstances.. I want to serve others and so I am serving the Lord. I'm nervous, scared, worried, and excited for this new thing in my life all at the same time. Mixed emotions forsure. But this is where I am to be, and I know it in my heart - everything will work out in His plan. I'm not sure exactly how God is going to use me with this schooling, but he will show me in time :) Thanks to all of you who support me and pray for me.

Much Love, Michelle

Making it through

Well, God always seems to take care of me right when I'm pretty much down to my last string (or "penny" in this case)! I'm working now and thanks to God I've been able to make my payments this month. Things have been looking a little more on the brighter side this week :) I got my student loan and for that I am super pumped! Although including all my living expenses on top of school I may be a touch short, thats okay, I'll figure things out as they come one day at a time! The sad part is I did not get the northern bursary i was counting on.. but thats okay, things will still work out okay for me, I'm not going to worry about it. I am pursuing what I think is right for me and I know things will work out as they are supposed to. Thanks for your prayers, they've definitely been answered :)

Trying to have faith..

I never thought I would come to the point where i would be thankful for an extra $20 to fill my car up with gas.. God has definitely been testing me more than I would like. I'm tired, I'm stressed, I'm not even sure what I'm supposed to do.. First week of summer camps just cancelled today, so again no work for ANOTHER full week. At this point I'm not sure I can even make it through the month.. I've been trying to get a second/other job, but no one wants to hire someone who is leaving to go to school. I'm not going to lie, I'm finding things pretty tough right now and its really cutting my pride down knowing I can't do it on my own anymore.. I was doing okay trusting God it would all work out, but bad news after bad news just isn't helping. It's hard to trust God when you're upset with him.. I would love some prayers if you think of me.

Restless

Its been a while since I've logged onto my blog! I guess there have been a few ups and downs in the past while. As I mentioned last month, being accepted into school is pretty exciting! I'm a bit nervous to move I will admit, as I've made Grande Prairie pretty homely over the past few years.. but I know the change will be good for me and I am excited to expand my knowledge and experience in school! All I am waiting on now is a student loan and bursaries, but I'm just running on faith assuming I will get them, so hopefully!

I haven't really worked for 6 weeks now.. wow what a change from my winter working months! I've been so used to the "go, go, go" attitude all winter that this summer has definitely been interesting for me. I can now properly define the word "restless"! Ha ha. The job I had originally been offered last month didn't exactly work out, long story short - they kept pushing the start date back and eventually never returned any of my calls. I was quite disappointed as I had stopped looking for the work during this time period assuming I would be working full-time. But God has been faithful and has continued to provide for me as I need it! I worked a a couple days last weekend at the alley to fill in for someone and am temping two days at Trinidad. The extra cash will definitely help me out this month! Again, God being faithful to take care of me, I got a job for the summer starting in a few weeks working for GPRC summer camps. Basically just helping run sports camps for the summer monday to friday. I'm looking forward to it forsure as I know it will be something I actually enjoy.

And I guess thats about all I have to say for now!
~Until next time~

ACCEPTED!!!

I GOT INTO SCHOOL!! :) I'm pretty excited about this! As long as everything works out financially, looks like I am going to be a full-time student in the fall! Now its applying for bursaries like crazy and working on getting a student loan. As long as this is what I am supposed to be doing, then I'm sure everything will work out just fine :)

I also got a job offer working at a Medic Company in the office! I should hopefully be starting next week.. I definitely need to get working already.

I recently got back from a nice little vacation on the west coast again. It was great to just relax and visit friends :) I'll throw up a couple pics of my time there.

Anyways, thats all I got for today. Chow!

No Update

My update so far is "No Update".. I'm pretty much just going day by day having no clue whats going to happen next! I can't even count the amount of resumes I've been putting out for work. I didn't think finding work would be as hard as it is right now! But I won't give up, I'll find something I'm sure.. I'm a firm believer in "Everything happens for a reason". God's got something up that sleeve of his! I'm getting pretty impatient with school too. I still haven't heard much on that end of things. I talked to a lady in the registrar last week and she said right now they were in the process of reviewing my application and I should hopefully know this week sometime... I sure hope it won't be long!! If I am accepted into the 2009 Fall term, I've got lots to get working on with a Student Loan and bursaries! If I don't get in this year, I'll try my best not to get too discouraged but try again next year. So yeah basically everything in my life is just floating around in mid-air right now, and let me tell you.. its SO hard to be patient in these circumstances!! I think in the past couple days my stress level has elevated like crazy, leaving me with headaches and nausea, no fun! Anyways, I just keep reminding myself, that there's a reason for all of this. God will take care of me and have me where he wants me.

Bad News..

Well I still don't know if I am accepted into school or not, so thats not the bad news.. I'm still waiting on that.

The bad news is.. I am getting laid off as of April 30th.. Its a tough hit for me being one of the many North Americans losing their jobs. I didn't really feel this whole recession thing affecting me, that is until now.. I'll admit, it's not the easiest pill to swallow! But I am going to try my best not to stress out too much and just take it one day at a time as I get my resumes out there. What else can I do right?

Obviously there is a reason for this. There is a plan, I know there is a plan... All I can say is "I trust you God.. I trust you".

Waiting..

Still waiting to hear back from the college.. IMPATIENTLY waiting might I add! I am a planner and an organizer so I like to have things figured out as to what I am going to do. Its hard waiting I have to say!! Hopefully I will hear back soon so I can move on from this point..

Finally finishing up Step 2!

Well it's been a while since I've put up an update as to how things are going with my application process! They received my first part (application form, transcript, pymt) a few weeks ago. I then received a package containing more information, reference forms, and my own personal/professional questionare. I've been working long and hard on this part, since I have to answer each of the questions in essay form. It tiring and time-consuming. I'm not used to this "writing" thing anymore! But with a lot of time to think everything through, I have finally finished it! Let's just say, the word "headache" has become very personal for me in the past few days.. But I'm done it, and I am very happy with my finished piece of writing :) I will be sending it in today and waiting for the next resonse hopefully within the next few weeks. If this is what I am supposed to do with my life, then I guess it will all fall into place :) I'm scared and excited all at the same time. It would definitely be an adjustment for me leaving the working field and becoming a full-time student! Ahhhh.. CrAzY!

On another note, my work is almost done at the bowling alley as league is just finishing up in playoffs next week. My hours will be cut back as summer is much slower. I need that break though, it will be good for me :) But of course, being the busy body that I am, it probably won't last long. If school is in my future, I'm sure I will be finding another second job this summer to make some extra bucks! I'm definitey going to try and keep it minimal though, I don't want to overdue it as I tend to do at times. I think I get worn out way too easily..

I got to go home last weekend, which was sooo nice! Short, but good to see family and friends again :) It was exciting to see my new nephew Kyler, he's a cutie! I'll throw up a picture or two.

And thats about it for now!

Step 1 complete!

Well, I've sent in my application & transcript now... step 1 is complete! Now I have to wait for a bunch of stuff back from them where I have to complete a resume, personal profile, reference letters, criminal record check, ect. A little longer of a process than I had first expected! I really have no idea if I will get in this year or not.. I'm applying a little late in the year so there might not be too many spots left for the program (Social Work Diploma). Also you need to have 70 hours accounted for in volunteer work. I do have that, but my type of volunteer work hasn't necessarily been very broad as I have not volunteered at agencies or hospitals. So if I don't get in because of this, I'm not going to let it bother me. All I will do is gain more volunteer experience and work towards next year! I'm just taking steps for now and learning to let God be in contol of what he knows is best for me. I'll keep you posted!

A little insight..

So today I am meeting up with a lady from my church, who is a Registered Social Worker. I figured before I make any final decisions, I would like to hear what being in the field of social work is like from an insider's point of view. If I am going to commit time and money to school I want to be as sure as possible that this is the direction I want to go.. I am looking forward to hearing more about it and coming to a final decision. I had been thinking about going to school in Southern BC.. but with a lot of thought, I decided I just don't know if I can be that far away from home at this point. Well I know I can be as I've lived in Africa for 6 months, but with the choice of schools.. I would like to be closer to home. If after this meeting, I still feel very positive about going to school, I will be applying at Grant MacEwen in Edmonton for this coming Fall. Fingers crossed!

Just thought I'd post some pics of my trip to BC..



Ganges Harbour, Salt Spring


Relaxing afternoon at the beach


Sharai & Avery at the Treehouse Cafe in Ganges


Polly & I


Erin & I at Harrison Lake


Hangin with my wonderful old roomies :)

Well after a lot of thought, discussion and prayer, I have come to the conclusion that I am taking a step and applying for University. I'm applying for the Social Work Diploma Program for this coming Fall. I do believe this is what I want and it excites me thinking about going to school again! As for if this will happen or not, I guess I'll just have to wait and find out. If the doors open for me, I'll take that as a "GO", if they close - then obviously God has something better in mind or the timing just isn't right. And I guess thats the story so far..

Unending Decisions..

It seems as though each time I finally make one decision in my life.. another presents itself. Is this some kind of unending process I should have known about?? I'm not even kidding, I feel I've been overwhelmed with decisions to make this past year or two! Being on my own and indpendent definitely brings in a lot more opportunity in differerent areas, which means MORE DECISIONS!! Sometimes I just wish God would put a bilboard in front of me telling me exactly which way I need to go and maybe even throw a road map in the deal! Too bad that's not quite how God works :)

Here it goes.. Is school an option for me? At one point I seriously thought I would never go back to school, but lately it keeps jumping out at me. Honestly.. it scares me a little to think I might want to go back to school, its been way too long. I dont even know how the classroom/homework thing works anymore!! haha. But its almost like everytime I think about what I want to do with my life I hear the word school. I mean, it would only make sense considering most of what I would like to do with my life would mean getting a diploma or a degree. Why does school scare me so much? I guess I'm just so used to the 'working' life that it would take some adjusting. Not to mention, if I decided (there's that word again!) to go to college or university, it would most likely mean 'moving' again! ANOTHER 'decision'.

Being a follower of Christ, I know that I want to pursue what God has for me - I want His will to be my will. And so that means praying and working towards possible opportunities (such as school) and letting God be in control. All the meanwhile, trusting that He knows what He's doing - afterall, He DID design me.. All my passions and dreams come from Him. Right?

Feel free to leave me any of your comments or thoughts on school!

I've been right back into the busy life since being home from Christmas. Lets put it this way.. coffee has become my new best friend! haha. I'm loving the new place I am living and the space I have for myself :) I like that fact that my roomate has a dog (Molly), she's definitely kept me company on the lonely days. Although the vacuuming up hair part can get annoying, I'll just never have my own inside pet! I've started cooking a little more than I used to.. maybe I'll eventually master it! haha.

I'm still working on making a lot of big decisions in my life as to what it is I really want to do.. But I know the right opportunities will present themselves at the right time. I just need to continue to have patience and trust that God has got it all under control :)

I've been learning how to snowboard again! Amidst the falls and bruises, I'm still enjoying it. I can't wait to really get the hang of it. I'll post some pics when I get the chance.

Only 2 weeks and I am BC bound!! I am SO ready for a vacation :) Not to mention the mountains, the ocean and friends! Definitely counting down for this one. I'll be making another trip in July this year. Looks like I am Maid of Honor for my friends wedding in Newfoundland!! I'm pretty stoked. Never been in a bridal party before. I got friends travelling with me around the east coast then as well, so it will be a good time for sure :)

X Until Next time X

A New Year

Well Christmas and New Years has come and gone and it's back to routines again! I had a great Christmas being back at home with family and seeing some friends, nice and relaxing. Although I got a little sick with a horrible cold right away it was still nice to finally do NOTHING! To have a week off of work and get some much needed rest was great.

New years.. does that mean new years resolutions?? haha. I guess I got a few. I think I've got to get some priorities straight in my life. I get so sucked into work that by the time I get home I'm exhausted. My self-motivation is horrible. I get a little grumpy from not getting much sleep, and I drag myself through the day. I definitely need to work on changing my attitude a little! I guess there's a lot of little things I would like to change in my life - but it pretty much all comes down to attitudes and motivations. I'm going to work on that!

I'm really looking forward to the first weekend in February!! I am planning on going to Salt Spring Island, BC to visit Polly & Jason for a couple days, then I'm off to Chilliwack to visit Erin & BJ whom I haven't seen in FOREVER. I am so excited, it will be a nice little vacation :)

Thats all for now.. Happy New Years!!
(Here's a couple pictures of my neices and nephew and Christmas!)